People often communicate using everything except words. There are gestures, facial expressions, hand movements, certain giveaways only particular to a person, eye contact, different vibes and energies, etc. Words, though extremely important to communication, sometimes fall short of conveying what these other mediums can do better. In fact, sometimes it’s better to not say it but use these tools to not just express, but also listen. Listening is an umbrella term. You must listen well to the things that are flat-out spoken. But you must also learn to listen and pick up these other things that may not always be put in legitimate words. Being a good listener entails being observant and patient while absorbing everything you can around other people.
The rest of this post is about listening to the words but I wanted to begin with this part because listening is always incomplete without listening to the silent words.
We have to hear so many types of people in a day and people may be soft, loud, pleasant, rude, or nice as they please. Sometimes, we just want them to shut up and on others, we can’t help being captivated by their words. Every day, every person, and every situation is a different scenario. ‘Hearing’ a harsh remark or a sweet statement evokes different immediate reactions from within us. To everything we hear in a day, there’s a reaction. Now, what if we were to ‘listen’ to these people? If you listened to someone being harsh, you will catch on to every word they say, and rather than being angry, you might even pity them for once. You might see that harsh words come out of a person when there is bitterness in the heart at the moment. Imagine, they have to carry that bitterness around making their hearts heavy until they can spew it all out on you to make themselves feel better. Doesn’t that sound like a person worth your pity? Similarly, if pleasant words are spoken to you, listening to them might not just make you feel good but understand the genuineness of their sound. It’s no more about the words spoken but the intention, emotion, and finally the connection you make with the speaker from your heart. The more attention you pay, the more meaning is added to everything you hear.
We’re humans, and instant reactions come undeniably to us. But as much as possible, we must consciously attempt to listen to other people. It may not be our favourite job to do, but I can vouch because the person benefitting most from it will be you. Keep your ego aside for a little while. Keep your opinions aside for a little while, even if you know a person is wrong and you’re right. Let them finish. It is obviously a good habit and a sign of respect for the person talking. But your words will be a thousand times more impactful when that person has finished talking and now you’re the one everyone’s quietly listening to. If you cut them off mid-sentence, they’re going to retaliate and not let you finish either, and there’s a never-ending chain.
If we’re all a little calm, patiently listening over blatantly hearing, I think we’d get a chance to form deeper relationships. It’s all about the depth. A little deeper understanding and a little more maturity. If your opinions deserve to be heard, you must learn to value their voice too. Nothing fruitful comes out of two people talking at once. But everyone will learn something when people are talking one after another. Listen, because sometimes you might hear pain hidden amidst impolite words. Sometimes, you might hear a cry for help behind churlish remarks. And you might even hear a hint of love hidden between expressions of care and concern. Listen, in order to sense the unspoken from the words spoken.
The Thought Factory 